House warming?

These are traditionally held when you move into a house not just before you move out.

However, every few weeks the tallest member of our household tries to burn the house down. These unintentional attempts are usually thwarted by one or other of the housemates. My German housemate's approach is to hurl the flaming contents of the grill pan out of the back door, consigning the charcoaled remnants to the garden where they can smoulder away harmlessly. Such repressed tendencies towards pyromania are made all the more ironic by the fact that our mythical house tutor (once rumoured to have visited us in September, but long since fallen into legend) is the university fire officer. If only he knew...

I suppose university life is all about learning to look after yourself (and other people, clearly).

Anyway, my washing - innocently drying around the house - now smells of flame grilled burgers.

Bleugh!