"Do you have a sick note for that beard?"

I came across a new condition today. It brightened my day. It is called pseudofoliculitis barbae. Otherwise known as shaving rash. It is caused by shaving too closely so that the hairs grow back in and cause a rash which can get infected. The cure is not to shave so closely and (I quote) "to aim for a 5 o'clock shadow after you have shaved." If this fails to work, the experts recommend you "accept the fact that you must grow a beard." And, even better than that; "in occupations where beardedness is not acceptable, a medical certificate can be provided."

There you go, Lara. Beard licenses do exist!

What a wonderful thought.