I take it all back
Alright, well I take half of it back. I can live without the bacterial vaginosis and chlamydia swapping of gynae, but obstetrics is ok.
I have just returned from spending the day in the delivery suite. It was quite profound. Strange to see life arrive in the world like that. It all happened a bit unexpectedly. Like a little torpedo actually. The midwives told me it wasn't usually like that.
It's a little strange just standing around. You can't be much help on your first time and there's a limit to the depth of conversation agreeable to a woman 7cm dilated and speaking only between long drags of Entonox.
But I did my bit. At one point the registrar asked me if I could put a cannula in. I said I'd done it a few times and, turning to the woman, requested consent, which was probably not of principle concern to her at that time. Having said that, once I'd got all the stuff ready, the reg handed me something that looked more like a sharpened length of drain pipe than a piece of precision medical equipment suitable for establishing i.v. access. Suppressing -for the patient's peace of mind (again, not a realistic expectation at this stage) - my initial reaction of "Flippin' heck! That's HUGE! I've never put one of these in before!", I 'had a go'. Testament to my lack of experience or - as I like to think - to the size of the needle, the poor woman still flinched from me even though she'd been on Entonox for most of the evening. Hey ho. They tell me the gas stops working after a while.
But yes. The main thrust of this post is that birth is quite... remarkable. Ok ok, it's amazing and I want lots of kids.
There's a competition amongst my friends: a bottle of wine goes to the first person to get a newborn named after them.
I have just returned from spending the day in the delivery suite. It was quite profound. Strange to see life arrive in the world like that. It all happened a bit unexpectedly. Like a little torpedo actually. The midwives told me it wasn't usually like that.
It's a little strange just standing around. You can't be much help on your first time and there's a limit to the depth of conversation agreeable to a woman 7cm dilated and speaking only between long drags of Entonox.
But I did my bit. At one point the registrar asked me if I could put a cannula in. I said I'd done it a few times and, turning to the woman, requested consent, which was probably not of principle concern to her at that time. Having said that, once I'd got all the stuff ready, the reg handed me something that looked more like a sharpened length of drain pipe than a piece of precision medical equipment suitable for establishing i.v. access. Suppressing -for the patient's peace of mind (again, not a realistic expectation at this stage) - my initial reaction of "Flippin' heck! That's HUGE! I've never put one of these in before!", I 'had a go'. Testament to my lack of experience or - as I like to think - to the size of the needle, the poor woman still flinched from me even though she'd been on Entonox for most of the evening. Hey ho. They tell me the gas stops working after a while.
But yes. The main thrust of this post is that birth is quite... remarkable. Ok ok, it's amazing and I want lots of kids.
There's a competition amongst my friends: a bottle of wine goes to the first person to get a newborn named after them.
posted by Michael at 9:34 pm
3 Comments:
That should of course have read "chlamydia swabbing", but I kind of like the typo.
I reckon I've got a good chance considering the time of year. Can we extend to middle names also? Wine is a precious commodity out here, you understand.
You want to have lots of babies or you want a woman to have lots of them for you?
:)
So tell us more about baby names. Best? Worst? Did anyone ever win the bottle of wine?
My middle names are Matthew and Christopher just in case that widens the scope?
:)
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